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The Stages of Parenting
By Lisa Barker, www.JellyMom.com

You know you’re the parent of a baby when…

· You get so little sleep your driver’s license photo looks better than you.
· You’ve got stains on the shoulders of every shirt.
· Whenever you reach into your pocket or reach for your purse, people run fearing you’ll have more pictures to show them.
· You know what time the street sweeper visits your neighborhood at night.
· The only ‘television shows’ you get to watch are the infomercials in the wee hours of the morning.
· You spend a quarter of your time feeding the baby, a quarter of your time burping the baby and half your time cleaning up what comes out of the baby.

You know you’re the parent of a toddler when…

· You live for naptime.
· You’ve got stains on the hems of your all your shirts because you’ve become the human Kleenex.
· Whenever you reach into your pocket or for your purse, there’s an expectant chubby little face at your side hoping for a cookie.
· You can tell time in five and ten minute increments because your little one spends enough time in “time-out.”
· The only television shows you get to watch are Blue’s Clues, Dora and Stanley.
· You spend a half your time dressing your toddler and the other half wading through toys and picking up discarded clothes so you can dress him again.

You know you’re the parent of a child when…

· You send him out the door with lunch and greet him at the door with a snack.
· He’s got stains on every shirt he owns.
· Whenever you reach into your pocket or for your purse, there’s a hand out waiting for some money.
· You know what time the ice cream truck comes around.
· You hold television as a bribe to get chores and homework done first.
· You spend half your time nagging your child to get ready in the morning and getting homework done in the afternoon and the other half worrying that you’re not a good mother.

You know you’re the mother of a teen when…

· You get so little sleep your driver’s license photo looks…well, you know.
· His shirts are stained because it’s in style and yours are NOT.
· Whenever you reach into your pocket there’s a hand out waiting for money and the car keys.
· You’re getting reacquainted with the nightly visits of the street sweeper.
· You both like the same shows, but one of you won’t admit it.
· You spend half your time buying groceries, a quarter of your time nagging, a quarter of your time biting your tongue and ALL of your time worrying.

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©Lisa Barker ~ Jelly Mom™ is written by Lisa Barker, author of "Just Because Your Kids Drive You Insane...Doesn't Mean You Are A Bad Parent!" and syndicated through Martin-Ola Press/Parent To Parent. To publish Jelly Mom, buy the book or leave comments, please visit http://www.jellymom.com.



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